Why ?

    

It’s been 6 years since my dad passed from colon cancer.  This year will be 6^th year not celebrating Father’s Day on June 19^th and his 64^th birthday on 28^th of June.

I ask myself Why God? Why did you take away a good man from this world? Why did you take away my father from our family? Why did I have to have this pain in my heart for sooo long? Why did I have to walk in this depression? Why did my mom have her husband taken away, since they had known each other since high school?  There are many “why” questions on my mind.

As, I look back, the Lord had told me as my dad was dying 6 years ago, “I am in Control and you are Not.” Today, I still remember those words loud and clear from the Lord.

There is a purpose for everything. The struggle is tough in life. Nothing is easy in life including losing your loved one. It’s a fight each day to be focused in our daily life. Life is not easy. It’s a true test if you are going to pass the test each day in your life. My dad told me once when we were at the gas station, “You are breathing, alive, have a good job, healthy, blessed and cancer free! Be happy where you are! Look at me. I’m in chemo and struggling with cancer.” I never looked at life the same again.

This is one of my dad’s stories: 

Glimpse of Jesus as of 02/10/2000 written by Dan Rodriguez

Job 23:9-10

“When he is at work in the North , I do not see him, he turns to the south, I catch no glimpse of him. But he knows the way  that I take: when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold.”

Paul of Tarsus did not even see Jesus when he was struck by a light from Heaven that flashed around him on the road to Damascus, but it completely changed his life when he spoke to Paul, “ Saul, Saul why do you persecute me?” A glimpse of a light shone so bright that it knocked  him down beneath himself.  Before Paul could really see Jesus, he had to be knock off his pride, off his high horse, off from the chip on his shoulder that he had against Christians. Before he could even get a glimpse of who this Jesus was, he had to travel on this road to Damascus. Many of us know this road to Damascus because we had to be lowered before we were lifted in Jesus.

In this verse above, Job was saying that he could not see the Lord in the North, South, or any where else but yet he was trusting in him because no matter if he didn’t see him he would continue to serve and trust in him. Job was so low that he could hardly see above the grass, but yet would say things like, “ when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold.” Paul and Job both got very low in life to the point that eventually the Lord lifted them as he has you and me where no man, no thing, no event could hurt our spirit. The mere glimpse of seeing him or expecting to see a glimpse of Jesus can either way dramatically change anyone’s life.

I myself was attending a Bible Conference by T.D. Jakes being held here at Reunion Area back in 1997 in February. There was a great worship atmosphere in the whole place. After Ron Konolis’ thundering worship song and Joyce Myers speaking, all of sudden, for a glimpse, I saw someone walk in front of the large speaking stand. I seemed to have seen this person before many times even though he had long brown/blondish hair, a glimmering shiny white robe, wearing a beard, with sandals. For about three or four steps, I saw him causally walk in as if he had done this hundreds of times before. I quickly turned to see if my wife was seeing what I had just witnessed, but when I turned back to look, he was gone from my sight. I seemed to be the only one seeing this phenomenon. I continued to look for him in the stands to my left and to my right, but I could not see him any longer. When I looked at each side of this large place, I heard commotion coming from each area. One woman was jumping so high that, I though she would fall.  Later, I found out that God had healed this woman and another from a shattered leg from an accident while the other was healed from extreme leg and angle bone problems. Jesus somehow had walked in and healed them miraculously touching both individuals that day. Somehow, the Lord had allowed me to just catch a glimpse of him walking in before he actually did these healings. My Life also has not been the same since that day.  

 A glimpse of Jesus whether you expect to see him like Job or whether you’ve actually seen him does not matter because ITS FAITH THAT ALWAYS CREATES THE MIRACLES in our lives. If you loose faith in yourself, you loose faith in everyone around you eventually. You must hold on to the reality THAT ONE DAY YOU WILL SEE THE LORD IN PERSON BEFORE YOUR EYES. All the questions, all hurts, all frustration, all of your crawling on the floor experiences, all your tears, all of your loneliness and isolation times, and all your problems will ceased to exist once YOUR FAITH IS REWARDED not only by a GLIMPSE OF JESUS, but a real hugging, arm in arm walking experience with the one and only Lord of all Jesus Christ.

BE READY!

Revelation 3:12 “Him who overcomes I will make a pillar in the temple of my God. Never again will he leave it. I will write on him the name of my God and the name of the city of my God, the new Jerusalem, which is coming down out of heaven from my God; and I will also write on him my new name.”

35 Years Young!

Where did the time go? I was 25 years old, 10 years ago in the month of September. I was 25 years old and thinking of school, and work. When I was 25 years old my life was consumed all about me. Little did I know that things were going to change for me a year later when I watched my father fight colon cancer. Life is not all about me, it's about somebody else. Be strong when someone is weak. Love the Lord when things go wrong in your life.

This past year in my life, I had decided to make some changes in my life and make some major goals for my future.

Health was most important factor in my life. No, I don't need to lose weight, but exercising is on top of my list. Cancer is my fear in my life. I was not being active in my daily life. I purchased Fitbit and notice I had 2,000 steps in my daily walk. Scary! Also, my mother and my younger sister advice me to work out. These ladies push me to better myself and my body. Thanks mom and sis!

Clifford, my sis and I working out @ www.vargasbjj.com/jiu-jitsu.html

Less about social media and focus on volunteering, exercising, catching up at home, watching my favorite shows, hanging with my family and friends. Please forgive me if I miss your birthday, commenting on your vacation, family's pictures, pet's pictures, or your friend's pictures, or your status. I have to a balance to my life. Computers do not rule my life. I choose to live in the real world.

Growing up in the hospitality industry appearance is very important to the public. I found when you exercise all the time less makeup and working less on your hair. This was a huge sacrifice that I was making this year.

Worship and Prayer in traffic. I found the best times you can have with the Lord is in traffic @ 8am. Patience is key during this time. I found myself avoiding accidents and not having a flat tire on busiest highways in my hometown. Thank you, Lord for protecting me!

Lastly, this week, my cousin passed away from cancer. This was my dad's older brother- step daughter, Tracy Crowe Fash. I watched her fight breast cancer. I was not close to my cousin, but I prayed a lot for her. I was believing for a miracle for this young woman. I felt it was a duty as my dad's daughter to prayer for her. I watched Tracy beat cancer 1st time and watch the pain of Tracy fighting for her life 2nd time. Tracy lived her life to fullest with her family, colleagues and with friends in her last days.

As, I turn 35 this month, I leave words from my cousin, https://twitter.com/TracyFash : "I may have a non curable cancer but I can't help feeling so blessed by the wonderful people in my life." #lovelife#needacureforcancer

Psalm 91:4-5(CEV)

“4 He will spread his wings
 over you and keep you secure. His faithfulness is like 
a shield or a city wall.5 you won’t need to worry 
about dangers at night
 or arrows during the day.”

Many hugs to my dad's family, Tracy's friends & love ones.

Forget me Not!

Today my dad would be 61 years old on 06.28.2015. I want to remember my dad with the words he had written on September 08,1999 during his morning devotion. He had written this devotion call,"Forget Me Not." Daniel R. 

I hope you are encouraged today. 

From his oldest daughter, Isleen R.

Accepting Changes

Everyone will be writing review of their year in 2013 and their goals of 2014 online. I would write about my year but it's already on my blog. Here is a small video that you can check out out my year in review for 2013 by clicking here. My goals for 2014 is something that I will keep in my journal.There is a lot that I would like to accomplish in 2014 but I would like to keep it private. I want change in 2014 in my life.

I will share my dad's writings about three changes that occurs in our lives: Natural, Self Induced (brought on by oneself or itself) & Uncontrollable Changes. This will make you think about you life this past year in 2013 and help you plan your goals for next year in 2014.

My dad, J D Rodriguez wrote this on 01.05.2000****************************************

Writing the year 2000 on our checkbooks, Daylight Savings Time, Graying, Loosing/Making Friends, Loosing Hair, Loosing your figure, Kids growing up, The weather, Your Memory not being the same, Spending & Making Money.

Matthew18:13, “And he said, “ I tell you the truth, unless you Change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

Changes comes when we least expect them. Changes come through many ways. Some changes we accept them while others we reject them initially. God put animals on this earth so we could learn much from them. If they could talk, I'm sure we would know more information about ourselves regarding change. There are three type of changes of which includes Nature Change, Self-Induced Changes, and the Uncontrollable Changes. We mostly accept the Natural and the Self-Induced Changes except when there is a conflict with other human relationships. The final kind of change, which is the Uncontrollable, become a decision we have to make whether we accept the or reject them.

Natural Changes

Live Right ( Everyone accept a good man)

Prov. 16:7 “ When a man's way are pleasing to the LORD, he makes even his enemies live at peace with him.

Self-Induced Changes

All seem to be lifestyle inflicted of which can be bad or good:

Positive: Setting positive goals, exercising, good diet, making each day count, living to the server instead of serving to live, keeping positive NO MATTER WHAT, & knowing your place with God/family/friends/and habits

Negative: Gambling, drinking (too much of drinking) hating, mindless music, cursing, living fast, spending trying to keep up with the Jone's, not loving to love but living to putting trust on possessions ( material) instead of God and loved ones, treating people as things instead of living breathing beings, living an immortal lifestyle ( No).

UNCONTROLLABLE CHANGES:

ILLNESS, AGING, DEATH, TAXES, I'm sure we can mention others like visiting the MOTHER IN LAW (my dad loved his Mother in Law, Maria) unwanted Relatives, hurtful friends like BILLS, Etc. But Seriously, I was young and had a great job in Sales when I was called into my managers office. My wife was 8 months pregnant (with me) and I got laid off. After laying around feeling sorry myself, it took courage to find another job because of my PRIDE/ my expectations/my success story/my routine had been ripped apart. That experience was a turning point in my life. It taught me well to always prepare for the unexpected. (my dad was laid off several times in his career.)

Things we can learn from animals regarding changes:

1. They're born without being cuddled and wrapped in a blanket or a nice soft pillow to rest on. ( My dog Gigi ( Toy Poodle), always sat on a nice pillow on the family couch)
2. Many Species have to do their own work in their birth instead of the mother pushing them out.
3. Their weaning period from their mothers can be instantly, days or just a few months.
4. No one knows when a sparrow dies except God and their parents.
5. Animals don't call their parents or their siblings on Holidays.
6. Sometimes it's hard to tell when they're sad, hurting, cold or even dying.

A mind set that can help you with unwanted changes:

1. Realize change do not have to ask you for permission to come. They come regardless.
2. You can not stop change. YOU ARE NOT IN CHARGE BUT Change is in charge.
3. It's how you direct the change to flow where you want it to flow.
4. Do not just see, hear,feel, taste change but ask yourself, “ Why Am I am so special that I can not accept this change?”
5. Lastly, the very first step in knowing how to handle change is knowing you have change standing right in from of you!

Thanksgiving & Christmas 2013

Thanksgiving is this week. Black Friday is the best deals of the year. What I will be doing this Black Friday is working instead of shopping. Black Friday is one events of the year we wait for the good deals. For me Black Friday is just another day. When I was younger, I would be that crazy person waking up 5am. I will be waking 6am getting to work. I have become a person who is willing to skip the Black Friday events. When my father passed away, Thanksgiving & Christmas was not the same for all of us. It's been hard enough to get my mom to get the tree up last year but she got the tree up. The old tree is gone and a new Christmas tree is up now in our family home.

Last year, we wrote a letter to each family member of how thankful we were for each other. My dad started this tradition many years ago. Presents are for the kiddos and less of us. This year, we are starting a family tradition by giving one gift to each adult family member. Christmas has become a marketing tool for America. Just turn on your TV. You will see every commercial during prime time talking about Christmas or open up your mail box with a bunch of Christmas ads. It's hard enough to see families who are struggling this year. There are others who are trying to save for next year with our health insurance, 401k, retirement, a new beginning in 2014, trying to survive for the next pay check or looking for a job. It's hard to see Christmas for a celebration with finding that perfect gift for your love one. I understand. I have been committed to help others especially during this time. If it's a Dollar Store gift, volunteer event, toy drive then I'm there in my free time. Material is less what I desire for myself and thinking of those who can't afford gifts for their child. What would Jesus do when I think to myself?

Christmas is the celebration of Jesus. When I think of Christmas as kid which I would think of toys. I also think of my dad opening the Bible and reading of birth of Christ to us. My dad taught us Thanksgiving & Christmas is celebration of family but above all Jesus. 

Three years later...

I was being interviewed by a local organization this past summer. One of the questions the interviewer asked me, “ How did you cope with the loss of you father from colon cancer 2 years ago?” I had to think very deeply for a second because I had almost cried before  I answered the question.

I had told the interviewer, “I had saw a counselor at school, I had my family around me, I did not drink any alcohol beverages during that period of time and Lord was my strength."

Three years of missing my father. I grew up from a child who was at age of 30 years old to a strong woman who feels like she is 80 years old inside at the age of 32. 

I was looking back at a picture of me in the hospital. My hair was falling out. I didn't do my hair for many weeks. I didn't sleep or eat very well. I had wore the same clothes for days while in the hospital with my dad. I was in deep depression. Each night, I had held my father's hand. I didn't want to let go my daddy's hand. I want to hold my dad's hand forever. I finally had to let go my daddy's hand when he passed away on September 14, 2011.

Two weeks ago, I had taken a picture of me in downtown Austin.The Lord is my strength for two years. It was a very difficult road to battle depression in my grieving seasons. Prayer and talking to the Lord was my only hope. There were times when I felt alone. I didn't know who to talk to during those times. I would turn up Kari Jobe's song and cried to the Father in Heaven in my car. The Lord was my salvation. Ladies, I didn't turn to my guy for a hug during those painful times. I was alone and I had to battle my depression.

Today, I am strong. My past experience was a battle to make me a stronger woman in everything I do. Don't get me wrong but I had sad moments but I continued to live my life. I lived my life to be there for my family and others. If you have a family member who is dealing with cancer or have passed away, please look to the Lord. Your strength is the Lord.

Psalms 23

“1 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. 2 He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, 3 he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. 4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. 5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. 6 Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever”

Haunted by the word cancer

Angelina Jolie's story came out on May 14, 2013 of her having double mastectomy. I can relate to Angelina Jolie. She is 37 years old and I am 32 years old. Angelina lost her mom at the age of 56. I had lost my dad at the age of 57 to colon cancer. She had lost her mom a few years ago. I had lost my dad to cancer 2 years ago. I was thinking what if cancer happens to me. I'm not claiming cancer at all. It's hard to think when you have a love one who had passed away from cancer. All the doctor visits you went with your love one. You had to watch all the chemo your love one went through. It is pain in our hearts.

You would say to yourself, “NO!” I don't want cancer to happen to me. I don't want to live in fear but it is hard to thinking about it. I had some issues in my body recently. I will not go in detail of my issue. This is a private matter for me. This issue wouldn't stop for about a month. I was worried about this issue in my body. Here I am reading Web MD and many online articles of what the cause of this issue in my body each night. One article stated to consult with your doctor since this issue can cause cancer. I was freaking out after reading the article online. I didn't want to tell my mom or my sister. We went through enough crap with my dad. So, I had decided to speak to my boyfriend about this issue in my body. My boyfriend said, “Go to the doctor's office tomorrow.” I did. My doctor had taken a few tests to see what the cause of this issue in my body is. She had looked at me and said, “I don't see anything wrong.” One thing she said to me, “You are healthy young person.” Her words brought life to me. The doctor told me if this issue does not stop please go to another doctor’s office. My doctor handed me business card. After I left her office, I was asking the Lord to heal. I was crying inside and outside. I didn't want to do extra blood work. I was scared for the outcome if I did extra blood work.
A week later, everything was normal in body. I said Amen to myself!!!


Fear of not living. We can say I'm ready to go to Heaven. This is what my dad said when he was normal. When he had cancer he didn't want to die. He didn't want to leave his family that he loved soooo much. My dad knew in his heart that he couldn't change the course of his life. I'm oldest daughter to be involved with cancer awareness. This week, I have decided to become involve in Be The Match at http://m.marrow.org/. I am going to give myself to be a match for patients with leukemia or other forms of cancer. I'm taking the step to help others.

Also, Angelina Jolie's story makes me wonder if I need to do blood work to see if I will get cancer. I'm considering it. Maybe, in my next doctor visit this coming August. I have to fight the rest of my life of this ugly word call cancer mentality.

Iamisleen


Angelina Jolie's Story

We often speak of “Mommy’s mommy,” and I find myself trying to explain the illness that took her away from us. They have asked if the same could happen to me. I have always told them not to worry, but the truth is I carry a “faulty” gene, BRCA1, which sharply increases my risk of developing breast cancer and ovarian cancer.

My doctors estimated that I had an 87 percent risk of breast cancer and a 50 percent risk of ovarian cancer, although the risk is different in the case of each woman.

Only a fraction of breast cancers result from an inherited gene mutation. Those with a defect in BRCA1 have a 65 percent risk of getting it, on average.

Once I knew that this was my reality, I decided to be proactive and to minimize the risk as much I could. I made a decision to have a preventive double mastectomy. I started with the breasts, as my risk of breast cancer is higher than my risk of ovarian cancer, and the surgery is more complex.

On April 27, I finished the three months of medical procedures that the mastectomies involved. During that time I have been able to keep this private and to carry on with my work.

But I am writing about it now because I hope that other women can benefit from my experience. Cancer is still a word that strikes fear into people’s hearts, producing a deep sense of powerlessness. But today it is possible to find out through a blood test whether you are highly susceptible to breast and ovarian cancer, and then take action.

My own process began on Feb. 2 with a procedure known as a “nipple delay,” which rules out disease in the breast ducts behind the nipple and draws extra blood flow to the area. This causes some pain and a lot of bruising, but it increases the chance of saving the nipple.

Two weeks later I had the major surgery, where the breast tissue is removed and temporary fillers are put in place. The operation can take eight hours. You wake up with drain tubes and expanders in your breasts. It does feel like a scene out of a science-fiction film. But days after surgery you can be back to a normal life.

Nine weeks later, the final surgery is completed with the reconstruction of the breasts with an implant. There have been many advances in this procedure in the last few years, and the results can be beautiful.

I wanted to write this to tell other women that the decision to have a mastectomy was not easy. But it is one I am very happy that I made. My chances of developing breast cancer have dropped from 87 percent to under 5 percent. I can tell my children that they don’t need to fear they will lose me to breast cancer.

It is reassuring that they see nothing that makes them uncomfortable. They can see my small scars and that’s it. Everything else is just Mommy, the same as she always was. And they know that I love them and will do anything to be with them as long as I can. On a personal note, I do not feel any less of a woman. I feel empowered that I made a strong choice that in no way diminishes my femininity.

I am fortunate to have a partner, Brad Pitt, who is so loving and supportive. So to anyone who has a wife or girlfriend going through this, know that you are a very important part of the transition. Brad was at the Pink Lotus Breast Center, where I was treated, for every minute of the surgeries. We managed to find moments to laugh together. We knew this was the right thing to do for our family and that it would bring us closer. And it has.

For any woman reading this, I hope it helps you to know you have options. I want to encourage every woman, especially if you have a family history of breast or ovarian cancer, to seek out the information and medical experts who can help you through this aspect of your life, and to make your own informed choices.

I acknowledge that there are many wonderful holistic doctors working on alternatives to surgery. My own regimen will be posted in due course on the Web site of the Pink Lotus Breast Center. I hope that this will be helpful to other women.

Breast cancer alone kills some 458,000 people each year, according to the World Health Organization, mainly in low- and middle-income countries. It has got to be a priority to ensure that more women can access gene testing and lifesaving preventive treatment, whatever their means and background, wherever they live. The cost of testing for BRCA1 and BRCA2, at more than $3,000 in the United States, remains an obstacle for many women.

I choose not to keep my story private because there are many women who do not know that they might be living under the shadow of cancer. It is my hope that they, too, will be able to get gene tested, and that if they have a high risk they, too, will know that they have strong options.

Life comes with many challenges. The ones that should not scare us are the ones we can take on and take control of.

A love for a Father in 2007

This morning, I was talking to my dad and at the end of our conversation he responded to me that he loved me. Not many fathers tell their own daughters that they love them. Many of you guys on myspace may not know what my father is all about but with one word I can describe who he is. He is one to have compassion for others. My father would go out of his way just to help my family, friends and myself with anything. I mean anything. There been many times I would be stuck in a situation and needed help. He would always be there to help me. He would always encourage me to finish on getting my degree when I had tough times at school. I am soon to finish at the end of this year. He would be my Friday night date to the movies when I was feeling lonely. Now, I'm in a great relationship with another man in my life that I am dating. My dad is my hero in my life. Sometimes the hero has to fall to the ground. I look at my dad dealing with colon cancer and fighting for his life with this darn disease. I feel helpless for him and I want to fix this problem but I can't. The only way I can be strong is to have faith in the Lord. I have to believe the Lord will heal him from this cancer. One day, I will see his healing come to pass in his body. For now I wait and pray.

I wrote this piece in 4.12.07**** on MySpace

March is Colon Cancer Awareness month.

My dad was a survivor for 1st time with colon cancer.

http://www.butt-check.org/survivor-stories/dan-rodriguez.php

2nd time my dad was diagnosed with colon cancer. My dad passed away from colon cancer on 09.14.11

I promised myself that I would continue the rest of my life to get the word out of colon cancer to others.

Iamisleen

Isaiah 53
4 Surely he took up our infirmities
and carried our sorrows,
yet we considered him stricken by God,
smitten by him, and afflicted.
5 But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
and by his wounds we are healed.
6 We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
each of us has turned to his own way;
and the LORD has laid on him
the iniquity of us all.
7 He was oppressed and afflicted,
yet he did not open his mouth;
he was led like a lamb to the slaughter,
and as a sheep before her shearers is silent,

so he did not open his mouth.

I'm called to live my Father's Legacy

For the month of March... It is Colon Cancer Awareness. Blue is the color for colon cancer. I am one gal who has a computer and social media to get out the word to help save the lives of grandmothers, grandfathers, uncles, aunts, cousins, brothers, sister, fathers and mothers regarding colon cancer. Colon cancer is the 2^nd cause of deaths when it comes to cancer in America according to one article. My father, Dan Rodriguez was a victim to colon cancer. He was a survivor of colon cancer for 4 years with surgery and help of herbal pills. Then, the cancer came back 2^nd time in August, 2011. My dad was admitted to the hospital, the doctor told the family the tumor that was discovered in his chest is the same cancer that metastasized from the colon cancer. My dad passed away in hospice care. I held my dad's hand every night to know that he would passed away. I was there from the beginning of his fight for cancer and I was there at the end. On the last day of my dad's life, I gave my dad water to drink before he passed away on September 14, 2011. For many months, I have cried without hearing the voice of my father. I remembered the places, the conversations, the places we went out to eat, the shows we watch but nothing could bring back my father. I read the words that my father wrote about the Lord to give me a vision of what I am suppose to do. It occurred to me that I have to reach out to the community every month of March to teach about colon cancer, in social media, in my writings, in my community, at my job and speaking with my family. I cannot go on with my life without help saving someone's life from this colon cancer disease. I have a voice and the research to speak about this terrible disease. 5 years ago, my family did not hear about colon cancer until my father was diagnosed. My dad dealt with the disease and he was healed for 4 years until 2011. While my father was healed from cancer my dad reached out to the community of those who were dealt with any cancer. He spoke to many individuals in person, on the phone, or on the web. My dad wrote his story on butt-check.org about this story about colon cancer. Check out his story here. I will continued his legacy to reach to others to teach other who are dealing with cancer. My mom said it well in statement she told me once, "Cancer does not discriminate in any age, color, race, religion." Cancer is silent killer but it is up to us to do what we can while we are placed on this earth. I feel like the Lord has placed me here for a reason. I want to help those who are in need when I can. I can't be silent and shut my month to watch others die from this disease.

Isleen  

Missing a Love One during Holidays

Today, I was writing on the computer working intensely in my studies then suddenly, I remember the voice of my dad coming home early on Thanksgiving week or on a Holiday from work. He would shout “Woo Hoo” and do a silly dance saying, “I am off from work for a whole week!” Now, the house is empty without joys of my father’s voice. The tears started to shed like water falls from my eyes on to my cheeks. Holidays are the hardest on family members who are dealing with loss. I have never felt like this before… cooking, shopping, decorating are the hardest to do. The family member or friend feels like it is not normal because their love one is gone from their life forever.

You can say to the friend, “Your love one is in heaven with Jesus.” Yes, the love one is in heaven... What about the person who is hurting for their love one during this holiday season? It takes years and years to overcome the loss of the love one. The closer you are to the one who has passed away... it is hard to move forward in life without them in this holiday season or any holiday season.

I see why there is so much depression in this holiday season and so many folks drive themselves to ease the pain away to forget it. At times, I fall asleep to hide the pain away. Others drink themselves away, do drugs, runway on a vacation, and watch TV all hours, shop, & etc. A lot of folks cover their pain to escape. There a lot of hurting people during this season. Remember the ones who are hiding in the corner and crying for the loss of the love ones. Don’t forget about your friends or family even though their love ones have passed away a month, 2 month ago, or even years. Love on them, hug them, shop with them, invite them over for dinner, go to a movie, drink coffee, have a glass of wine etc..  It is still real to most of us each day and it is fight to be normal in our everyday life. Prayers are in need for the person, on the phone, or even with them in person during this season or need a word of encouragement.

Check out this grief website by clicking here This grief website has really helped me in my daily life with small short stories and a verse. There are grief counseling if you have not seek it during the holidays in your local area. 

Isleen

Ordinary Individual who was a Hero

Today is a new day for me because it is a new beginning without my dad. A determination to move forward with my studies, and to work again because this is what my dad wanted from me if he was living today.  

As, I move forward in my life today, I leave this speech on my blog I wrote for my dad call, “Ordinary Individual who was a Hero.”

“A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.” Christopher Reeve

This was my dad, Dan Rodriguez. He was a hero to all of us. Our Superman. He was also our best friend including me. I had the honor to be his daughter. My dad was a best friend to many of us. Many of us can relate to Dan being our best friend.

For 30 years of my life he taught me so much about life, school, writing, speaking, career, family, sports, to be hero, but also of the Lord. The Lord was close to his heart. He spent many of his days with the Lord on earth and in ministry to others. Dan was a man of prayer and reading the Bible. He spent his last days with his close friends and family praying. Dan had the honor to give blessings to us even though he was in pain. Dad was a giving man. Once dad told me that he never wanted his children or grandchildren to go through cancer. He was willing to die for us if we caught cancer.

Life- Dan was a teacher to all of us. Words can't express how much my dad taught us about life. There were many wisdom lessons that my dad taught us.

Writing- Dad was a writer. Many of you may not know but dad loved to write. My dad & I shared something common with each other, one of them being our talent to write. He wanted to write a book many years ago but did not pursue it. In his last days, we spent some time at night reading his own stories.

Speaking engagements- Dan was involved with Toastmaster when he worked for Mobil Oil. Dan had a way with his words as he spoke in public with confidence. It taken him a lot of years of practice to speak in public but he accomplished being excellent speaker.

Career- Dan obtained his bachelor degree at the age of 30 from Pam Am University. Dad worked for Mobil Oil for many years. My dad loved working Mobil Oil and took us to work sometimes. I remember one summer I got a temp. job working with Mobil Oil at the age of16. My dad and I spent our time together that summer going to work and having lunch together. Those were priceless moments for me working with my dad.

In 99, Dan was laid off from Mobil Oil. Dad went to EDS from 1999-2001. Laid off again because of the economy after 9-11. I watched my dad for 6 months look for a job. My dad was not giving up to find a job and to help his family. Then, my dad landed the Wal-Mart job as assistant manager in 2002. My dad worked a few years with Wal-Mart. He learned a lot about the retail business that made him stronger as person in life. Then, my dad went from Wal-Mart to Safety-Kleen in the Accounting position. My dad was the happiest person when he got Safety-Kleen job because he was back doing what he loved, which was being challenge with numbers. When he landed Safety-Kleen job that is when he got colon cancer and continued to work with Safety-Kleen after he beat cancer. Then, my father moved from Safety-Kleen to QuickSilver. I remember my dad telling me that he was happy to work in the oil industry again. He was happy to being his field again. He felt like he was working his first job at Mobil Oil. My dad loved what he was doing in his career because of the colleagues, the challenges, coming up with new projects, and friendships. Some people strive to be the best and make money but my dad was the opposite. He was man who had humility, who wanted to serve others and give of himself.

Family- Dan was a family man. You bet that my dad received # 1 father's day gifts each year. My dad would not miss any of our important events. As a family we traveled together each year on our family vacations. We ate as family, went to church, and watched lots of movies. Dan was not only a father to us but a father to many. Many of us will miss my father.

Sports- During his off time dad loved to watch sports in person or on TV. Dad told me once that he watched the cowboys when he was young boy and that is why he had a love for the Dallas Cowboys.

To be hero- My father helped us children in times of trouble. When we went through scary moments in our lives which our father was there with us to pray and read the Bible. I remembered as a child being scared when there was tornado in our area. My dad prayed with us to drive the storms away. He did the same thing when I was coming back from China this summer to pray for my safety when there was a typhoon in China and I came home with no issues.

A hero sometimes through weakness with his health...In 2006, I watched my dad as he dealt with colon cancer the first time. It was the hardest moment of his life of going through long weeks of chemo and radiation but my dad wanted to live and go back to work. Dad did eventually went back to work in 2007. Dad went through cancer 2^nd time in his lungs. Dad was a fighter as he went through hand full of surgeries in the past month but my dad continued to fight until he was called home.

Man of the Lord- My dad was man of the Lord. He prayed for you even though you did not know it. He would spend early mornings as he drove work to praying for many of you, at his desk, or in his quiet place. My dad was not flashy about his religion. My dad was not in ministry or pastor but he shared his faith when you were going through something in your life. My dad accepted you for who you were. My dad had unconditional love for you even if you did wrong to him. My dad taught us to be like Jesus and to share your faith no matter.

Dan will always be remembered in our hearts, and as my dad would tell me in his last days, “Look to Jesus”.

Written by Isleen Rodriguez
Picture taken by Nina Perales

Did you feel the mountains tremble?

One of my favorite songs is by a group name Delirious? “Did You Feel The Mountains Tremble?”

In the beginning of the song the instruments are playing in the back ground which it sounds like you are in desert parts of Australia.

Then Martin Smith comes out and says….

Is it true can G-d save a nation?

Well it is true or I must believe it?

Is it true that G-d can break a nation?

Yes, it is true and I feel it……..

Did you feel the mountains tremble?

Did you hear the oceans roar?

When the people rose to sing of

Jesus Christ the risen one

Did you feel the people tremble?

Did you hear the singers roar?

When the lost began to sing of

Jesus Christ the risen one

And we can see that G-d you're moving

A mighty river through the nations

And young and old will turn to Jesus

Fling wide your heavenly gates

Prepare the way of the risen Lord

Open up the doors and let the music play

Let the streets resound with singing

Songs that bring your hope

Songs that bring your joy

Dancers who dance upon injustice

Did you feel the darkness tremble?

When all the saints join in one song

And all the streams flow as one river

To wash away our brokenness

And here we see that God you're moving

A time of Jubilee is coming

When young and old return to Jesus

Fling wide your heavenly gates

Prepare the way of the risen Lord

In my world right now… I feel like I can’t do anything to cure my dad’s cancer but I can only believe in G-d. I don’t know what I would do if did not believe in the Lord right now. I could see myself in the bar drinking away my pain and sorrows. The pain right now is unbearable that your tears start to dry up and you don’t know where to turn only to hear this song right now. 


One part of the song says

And we can see that God you're moving

A mighty river through the nations

And young and old will turn to Jesus

Fling wide your heavenly gates

Prepare the way of the risen Lord

Open up the doors and let the music play

Let the streets resound with singing

Songs that bring your hope

Songs that bring your joy

Dancers who dance upon

Hope! My dad is always there for me even I was in the deepest pain in my life. My dad was a phone call or away.. or he would pray for me. This time, I am here for my father by his side. I hold his wrinkle hand and told him, “I love him.” Last night, I could not sleep because so many things in my mind. My dad put his hands on my head and prayed for me to sleep. I felt the power of G-d all over me and I became sleepily. Sacrifice for one another. I was honor as his daughter that my dad would pray for me. I wish, I could do the same for him but only I can believe in the great healer and not give up for my dad to be heal.

Isleen

Cancer

Cancer

Last year we found out my father test came back negative which means this is good news because there was no trace of cancer. For time to time dad goes to the doctors to get checked up of cancer. My dad went to the doctor this last week to take his test. Yesterday, my mom had taken the day off from work to go to the doctor's office with my dad. Once my parents reach the doctor’s office and my parents sat with the doctor to be given the results of the test. The doctor told my father that the test came out negative. My dad was giving his praises to the Lord again this year! My father has been cancer free for 2 years!!!! Amen!!! I told my co-workers of my testimony of the good news about my father having no cancer which I sat down in my chair then my other co-worker, Seth came to the front to tell us what was happening with his girl friend Brooke. Brooke has been in battle with cancer in the last year. Seth told us that Brooke has 1-4 months to live. Seth was in tears when he told us the terrible news to all of us and some of the other ladies were in tears for Brooke. It is never easy to hear the bad news from the doctors when they tell you that you are going to die soon. What do you say when the doctors give you a time when you will die? You get depressed for days going on that you will die soon. You may feel like you have no hope and there is no future for you. My dad felt like this so many times while he was dealing with cancer and I had to sit by his side to watch him to go through with his pain. Many of you reading this my blog which I come to tell you there is hope no matter if you have cancer or no cancer. Christ is the only way. My father tells me if it wasn’t for Christ he would not have the reason to live.

Please keep Brooke Smith in prayer for all you prayer warriors. Brooke is 22 years old and has tumor has spread in her spine. I believe the Lord can heal her from his deadly disease.


Isleen

Awesome Lady

Awesome Lady

Time can pass you by when you are not looking. I met a wonderful lady two years ago full of life and had offered me to eat some chocolates in her home. Then I saw this lady last year on Sunday afternoon lunch and the topic of the lunch was her daughter. She was not worried about anything else but her older daughter getting married. I could see how much this lady loves her family. This lady had her husband passed away in 07 but she was going strong outside and inside. This past weekend I saw this lady laid in her hospice bed with her bald hair. It tore me apart inside to see her like this on her hospice bed. I had tears running down my face while I was praying for this lady. My boyfriend was next to me also praying for this woman of the Lord. It broke my heart to see this lovely lady battling cancer. You don’t know how much it affects you when you see a family in sadness watching their mother dying. It breaks my heart because I know what they are going through because I saw my grandmother on her death bed battling cancer many years ago. It is a feeling that you can’t explain but having lots of tissues and your tears running down your face. My father dealt with cancer and is now free of cancer but he is a changed man. I thank Kate for her prayers for my dad. I will always be thankful for prayer warriors like her. My dad went through a lot of hard moments in his life while he had cancer. We did not know if he was going to live or die soon. G-d was the only who knew if he was going to live. Every moment with dad was important to all of us kids. I remember going to the chemo and eating lunch with dad before going to work. I had so much going on with my school or work but always had time for dad during those tough moments. Today we don’t take advantage of the time we have with my parents. Every moment is important and we do a lot of things as family than we did before my dad had cancer. Today I tell you celebrate your life like it is your last. Don’t hold anger to each other and forgive and forget. You don’t know if the person you love will live their last. This is goes out to Kate Hawthorne & Family. Update: Kate Hawthrone has passed away on Jan.14th. My prayers are with all of you Hawthrone Family. Be Loved by the heavenly father.

Isleen