35 Years Young!

Where did the time go? I was 25 years old, 10 years ago in the month of September. I was 25 years old and thinking of school, and work. When I was 25 years old my life was consumed all about me. Little did I know that things were going to change for me a year later when I watched my father fight colon cancer. Life is not all about me, it's about somebody else. Be strong when someone is weak. Love the Lord when things go wrong in your life.

This past year in my life, I had decided to make some changes in my life and make some major goals for my future.

Health was most important factor in my life. No, I don't need to lose weight, but exercising is on top of my list. Cancer is my fear in my life. I was not being active in my daily life. I purchased Fitbit and notice I had 2,000 steps in my daily walk. Scary! Also, my mother and my younger sister advice me to work out. These ladies push me to better myself and my body. Thanks mom and sis!

Clifford, my sis and I working out @ www.vargasbjj.com/jiu-jitsu.html

Less about social media and focus on volunteering, exercising, catching up at home, watching my favorite shows, hanging with my family and friends. Please forgive me if I miss your birthday, commenting on your vacation, family's pictures, pet's pictures, or your friend's pictures, or your status. I have to a balance to my life. Computers do not rule my life. I choose to live in the real world.

Growing up in the hospitality industry appearance is very important to the public. I found when you exercise all the time less makeup and working less on your hair. This was a huge sacrifice that I was making this year.

Worship and Prayer in traffic. I found the best times you can have with the Lord is in traffic @ 8am. Patience is key during this time. I found myself avoiding accidents and not having a flat tire on busiest highways in my hometown. Thank you, Lord for protecting me!

Lastly, this week, my cousin passed away from cancer. This was my dad's older brother- step daughter, Tracy Crowe Fash. I watched her fight breast cancer. I was not close to my cousin, but I prayed a lot for her. I was believing for a miracle for this young woman. I felt it was a duty as my dad's daughter to prayer for her. I watched Tracy beat cancer 1st time and watch the pain of Tracy fighting for her life 2nd time. Tracy lived her life to fullest with her family, colleagues and with friends in her last days.

As, I turn 35 this month, I leave words from my cousin, https://twitter.com/TracyFash : "I may have a non curable cancer but I can't help feeling so blessed by the wonderful people in my life." #lovelife#needacureforcancer

Psalm 91:4-5(CEV)

“4 He will spread his wings
 over you and keep you secure. His faithfulness is like 
a shield or a city wall.5 you won’t need to worry 
about dangers at night
 or arrows during the day.”

Many hugs to my dad's family, Tracy's friends & love ones.

Three years later...

I was being interviewed by a local organization this past summer. One of the questions the interviewer asked me, “ How did you cope with the loss of you father from colon cancer 2 years ago?” I had to think very deeply for a second because I had almost cried before  I answered the question.

I had told the interviewer, “I had saw a counselor at school, I had my family around me, I did not drink any alcohol beverages during that period of time and Lord was my strength."

Three years of missing my father. I grew up from a child who was at age of 30 years old to a strong woman who feels like she is 80 years old inside at the age of 32. 

I was looking back at a picture of me in the hospital. My hair was falling out. I didn't do my hair for many weeks. I didn't sleep or eat very well. I had wore the same clothes for days while in the hospital with my dad. I was in deep depression. Each night, I had held my father's hand. I didn't want to let go my daddy's hand. I want to hold my dad's hand forever. I finally had to let go my daddy's hand when he passed away on September 14, 2011.

Two weeks ago, I had taken a picture of me in downtown Austin.The Lord is my strength for two years. It was a very difficult road to battle depression in my grieving seasons. Prayer and talking to the Lord was my only hope. There were times when I felt alone. I didn't know who to talk to during those times. I would turn up Kari Jobe's song and cried to the Father in Heaven in my car. The Lord was my salvation. Ladies, I didn't turn to my guy for a hug during those painful times. I was alone and I had to battle my depression.

Today, I am strong. My past experience was a battle to make me a stronger woman in everything I do. Don't get me wrong but I had sad moments but I continued to live my life. I lived my life to be there for my family and others. If you have a family member who is dealing with cancer or have passed away, please look to the Lord. Your strength is the Lord.

Psalms 23

“1 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. 2 He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, 3 he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. 4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. 5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. 6 Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever”