Did you ever have a moment in your life when you wished that you could control the situation? Do you wish that you could turn back the time? Right now, I am dealing what is next period of my life? Do I pack? Or should wait and have faith of where my next step?
In last 2 months of my life has not been the easiest one? Being unemployed is not easy at all. I have found myself searching through job after job, trying to make appointments for interview, working on Graduate homework, going to job fairs, sending emails to potential job offers, working on unemployment homework, going to workshops, and working on call when they need me at the hotel. There is the emotional factor that plays in when you don't have a job. When to sleep in my bed? I can't sleep at night because the worry starts to take place. Questions, questions start to take over of what is going to happen tomorrow and the depression takes over. There have been a nights where I could not sleep in my own bed and slept on my couch, my parent's couch, and my boyfriend's parents couch. “Where would I am going to sleep? “Is the question that pops in my head. I have been individual that plans aheads of what is going to happen next but this time I can't plan ahead because I do not know what is going happen next in my life.
The answer is G-d. One night, I found myself extremely depressed and woke up in the middle of my sleep praying. I heard the Lord saying to me, “ I will never leave you or forsake you.” A peace came into my heart as I heard those words. A friend called me up out of nowhere just to pray with me on the phone. I know the Lord is in control of my life. I have to have faith in believing in him for my future. G-d has always been there for me even when I traveled to the Middle East in times of uncertainly in this country. Hardest part of going to the next level of your life is letting go. Letting go everything you have or worked so hard for many years. I asked the Lord many times of why this happened to me? Why at this time? My mom tells me that Lord is teaching me something early in my life right now than when I am 50 years old. She tells me that you don't have the fancy house, car, boat, and the things you do not need. I am learning to think about my retirement, my future home, my future family living in my means instead out of my means. All these material things is temporal and something new will come along and we will toss the old.
The real focusing is on money. Money? Money makes the world go round but does it really? Money is the root of all evil as the Bible says. One of my friends called me up and said to me that we live in society that surrounds around money even in the church. He told me do you really need to live on money? What does the Bible say about money? As he was talking... I remembered many of the familes living in the Religious Jewish communities in Israel. The fathers and sons praying and study scriptures all day. The Jewish women who stayed home to raise their families. These people live on a limited income and give, give their tithe to the church. What would happen to our society if we lived limited income? There is so much competition in our society of who has the better car or better house. What about the relationships that help each other in times of trials. I had a Dell home computer that could of sold online for money but I did not. I gave this computer to one of friends who was in need for school. Not one penny.... I only I received but a hug. Giving is important in my life of those who is in need even when one does not have a job. What if we live in a socialist society? Would we as society live poor? It is scary to think about socialist society and part of me thinks that we may go in this direction in the near future. Today, I think of what is going to happen next in my life but I don't worry but trust in him. In G-d, I trust with my life. If you don't know where to turn in life turn to your Bible & prayer of course the Lord. Answers will be given to you but only in time. In the next few weeks, which I will find the outcome of where my life will be in the 6 to 9months. I ask all the prayer warriors please continue to pray for me.
Update..... 6mth, later... A prayed was answered. See my latest blog> June, 2011.
I love you all.
Be Blessed.
Isleen
