Why ?

    

It’s been 6 years since my dad passed from colon cancer.  This year will be 6^th year not celebrating Father’s Day on June 19^th and his 64^th birthday on 28^th of June.

I ask myself Why God? Why did you take away a good man from this world? Why did you take away my father from our family? Why did I have to have this pain in my heart for sooo long? Why did I have to walk in this depression? Why did my mom have her husband taken away, since they had known each other since high school?  There are many “why” questions on my mind.

As, I look back, the Lord had told me as my dad was dying 6 years ago, “I am in Control and you are Not.” Today, I still remember those words loud and clear from the Lord.

There is a purpose for everything. The struggle is tough in life. Nothing is easy in life including losing your loved one. It’s a fight each day to be focused in our daily life. Life is not easy. It’s a true test if you are going to pass the test each day in your life. My dad told me once when we were at the gas station, “You are breathing, alive, have a good job, healthy, blessed and cancer free! Be happy where you are! Look at me. I’m in chemo and struggling with cancer.” I never looked at life the same again.

This is one of my dad’s stories: 

Glimpse of Jesus as of 02/10/2000 written by Dan Rodriguez

Job 23:9-10

“When he is at work in the North , I do not see him, he turns to the south, I catch no glimpse of him. But he knows the way  that I take: when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold.”

Paul of Tarsus did not even see Jesus when he was struck by a light from Heaven that flashed around him on the road to Damascus, but it completely changed his life when he spoke to Paul, “ Saul, Saul why do you persecute me?” A glimpse of a light shone so bright that it knocked  him down beneath himself.  Before Paul could really see Jesus, he had to be knock off his pride, off his high horse, off from the chip on his shoulder that he had against Christians. Before he could even get a glimpse of who this Jesus was, he had to travel on this road to Damascus. Many of us know this road to Damascus because we had to be lowered before we were lifted in Jesus.

In this verse above, Job was saying that he could not see the Lord in the North, South, or any where else but yet he was trusting in him because no matter if he didn’t see him he would continue to serve and trust in him. Job was so low that he could hardly see above the grass, but yet would say things like, “ when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold.” Paul and Job both got very low in life to the point that eventually the Lord lifted them as he has you and me where no man, no thing, no event could hurt our spirit. The mere glimpse of seeing him or expecting to see a glimpse of Jesus can either way dramatically change anyone’s life.

I myself was attending a Bible Conference by T.D. Jakes being held here at Reunion Area back in 1997 in February. There was a great worship atmosphere in the whole place. After Ron Konolis’ thundering worship song and Joyce Myers speaking, all of sudden, for a glimpse, I saw someone walk in front of the large speaking stand. I seemed to have seen this person before many times even though he had long brown/blondish hair, a glimmering shiny white robe, wearing a beard, with sandals. For about three or four steps, I saw him causally walk in as if he had done this hundreds of times before. I quickly turned to see if my wife was seeing what I had just witnessed, but when I turned back to look, he was gone from my sight. I seemed to be the only one seeing this phenomenon. I continued to look for him in the stands to my left and to my right, but I could not see him any longer. When I looked at each side of this large place, I heard commotion coming from each area. One woman was jumping so high that, I though she would fall.  Later, I found out that God had healed this woman and another from a shattered leg from an accident while the other was healed from extreme leg and angle bone problems. Jesus somehow had walked in and healed them miraculously touching both individuals that day. Somehow, the Lord had allowed me to just catch a glimpse of him walking in before he actually did these healings. My Life also has not been the same since that day.  

 A glimpse of Jesus whether you expect to see him like Job or whether you’ve actually seen him does not matter because ITS FAITH THAT ALWAYS CREATES THE MIRACLES in our lives. If you loose faith in yourself, you loose faith in everyone around you eventually. You must hold on to the reality THAT ONE DAY YOU WILL SEE THE LORD IN PERSON BEFORE YOUR EYES. All the questions, all hurts, all frustration, all of your crawling on the floor experiences, all your tears, all of your loneliness and isolation times, and all your problems will ceased to exist once YOUR FAITH IS REWARDED not only by a GLIMPSE OF JESUS, but a real hugging, arm in arm walking experience with the one and only Lord of all Jesus Christ.

BE READY!

Revelation 3:12 “Him who overcomes I will make a pillar in the temple of my God. Never again will he leave it. I will write on him the name of my God and the name of the city of my God, the new Jerusalem, which is coming down out of heaven from my God; and I will also write on him my new name.”

35 Years Young!

Where did the time go? I was 25 years old, 10 years ago in the month of September. I was 25 years old and thinking of school, and work. When I was 25 years old my life was consumed all about me. Little did I know that things were going to change for me a year later when I watched my father fight colon cancer. Life is not all about me, it's about somebody else. Be strong when someone is weak. Love the Lord when things go wrong in your life.

This past year in my life, I had decided to make some changes in my life and make some major goals for my future.

Health was most important factor in my life. No, I don't need to lose weight, but exercising is on top of my list. Cancer is my fear in my life. I was not being active in my daily life. I purchased Fitbit and notice I had 2,000 steps in my daily walk. Scary! Also, my mother and my younger sister advice me to work out. These ladies push me to better myself and my body. Thanks mom and sis!

Clifford, my sis and I working out @ www.vargasbjj.com/jiu-jitsu.html

Less about social media and focus on volunteering, exercising, catching up at home, watching my favorite shows, hanging with my family and friends. Please forgive me if I miss your birthday, commenting on your vacation, family's pictures, pet's pictures, or your friend's pictures, or your status. I have to a balance to my life. Computers do not rule my life. I choose to live in the real world.

Growing up in the hospitality industry appearance is very important to the public. I found when you exercise all the time less makeup and working less on your hair. This was a huge sacrifice that I was making this year.

Worship and Prayer in traffic. I found the best times you can have with the Lord is in traffic @ 8am. Patience is key during this time. I found myself avoiding accidents and not having a flat tire on busiest highways in my hometown. Thank you, Lord for protecting me!

Lastly, this week, my cousin passed away from cancer. This was my dad's older brother- step daughter, Tracy Crowe Fash. I watched her fight breast cancer. I was not close to my cousin, but I prayed a lot for her. I was believing for a miracle for this young woman. I felt it was a duty as my dad's daughter to prayer for her. I watched Tracy beat cancer 1st time and watch the pain of Tracy fighting for her life 2nd time. Tracy lived her life to fullest with her family, colleagues and with friends in her last days.

As, I turn 35 this month, I leave words from my cousin, https://twitter.com/TracyFash : "I may have a non curable cancer but I can't help feeling so blessed by the wonderful people in my life." #lovelife#needacureforcancer

Psalm 91:4-5(CEV)

“4 He will spread his wings
 over you and keep you secure. His faithfulness is like 
a shield or a city wall.5 you won’t need to worry 
about dangers at night
 or arrows during the day.”

Many hugs to my dad's family, Tracy's friends & love ones.

Forget me Not!

Today my dad would be 61 years old on 06.28.2015. I want to remember my dad with the words he had written on September 08,1999 during his morning devotion. He had written this devotion call,"Forget Me Not." Daniel R. 

I hope you are encouraged today. 

From his oldest daughter, Isleen R.

Accepting Changes

Everyone will be writing review of their year in 2013 and their goals of 2014 online. I would write about my year but it's already on my blog. Here is a small video that you can check out out my year in review for 2013 by clicking here. My goals for 2014 is something that I will keep in my journal.There is a lot that I would like to accomplish in 2014 but I would like to keep it private. I want change in 2014 in my life.

I will share my dad's writings about three changes that occurs in our lives: Natural, Self Induced (brought on by oneself or itself) & Uncontrollable Changes. This will make you think about you life this past year in 2013 and help you plan your goals for next year in 2014.

My dad, J D Rodriguez wrote this on 01.05.2000****************************************

Writing the year 2000 on our checkbooks, Daylight Savings Time, Graying, Loosing/Making Friends, Loosing Hair, Loosing your figure, Kids growing up, The weather, Your Memory not being the same, Spending & Making Money.

Matthew18:13, “And he said, “ I tell you the truth, unless you Change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

Changes comes when we least expect them. Changes come through many ways. Some changes we accept them while others we reject them initially. God put animals on this earth so we could learn much from them. If they could talk, I'm sure we would know more information about ourselves regarding change. There are three type of changes of which includes Nature Change, Self-Induced Changes, and the Uncontrollable Changes. We mostly accept the Natural and the Self-Induced Changes except when there is a conflict with other human relationships. The final kind of change, which is the Uncontrollable, become a decision we have to make whether we accept the or reject them.

Natural Changes

Live Right ( Everyone accept a good man)

Prov. 16:7 “ When a man's way are pleasing to the LORD, he makes even his enemies live at peace with him.

Self-Induced Changes

All seem to be lifestyle inflicted of which can be bad or good:

Positive: Setting positive goals, exercising, good diet, making each day count, living to the server instead of serving to live, keeping positive NO MATTER WHAT, & knowing your place with God/family/friends/and habits

Negative: Gambling, drinking (too much of drinking) hating, mindless music, cursing, living fast, spending trying to keep up with the Jone's, not loving to love but living to putting trust on possessions ( material) instead of God and loved ones, treating people as things instead of living breathing beings, living an immortal lifestyle ( No).

UNCONTROLLABLE CHANGES:

ILLNESS, AGING, DEATH, TAXES, I'm sure we can mention others like visiting the MOTHER IN LAW (my dad loved his Mother in Law, Maria) unwanted Relatives, hurtful friends like BILLS, Etc. But Seriously, I was young and had a great job in Sales when I was called into my managers office. My wife was 8 months pregnant (with me) and I got laid off. After laying around feeling sorry myself, it took courage to find another job because of my PRIDE/ my expectations/my success story/my routine had been ripped apart. That experience was a turning point in my life. It taught me well to always prepare for the unexpected. (my dad was laid off several times in his career.)

Things we can learn from animals regarding changes:

1. They're born without being cuddled and wrapped in a blanket or a nice soft pillow to rest on. ( My dog Gigi ( Toy Poodle), always sat on a nice pillow on the family couch)
2. Many Species have to do their own work in their birth instead of the mother pushing them out.
3. Their weaning period from their mothers can be instantly, days or just a few months.
4. No one knows when a sparrow dies except God and their parents.
5. Animals don't call their parents or their siblings on Holidays.
6. Sometimes it's hard to tell when they're sad, hurting, cold or even dying.

A mind set that can help you with unwanted changes:

1. Realize change do not have to ask you for permission to come. They come regardless.
2. You can not stop change. YOU ARE NOT IN CHARGE BUT Change is in charge.
3. It's how you direct the change to flow where you want it to flow.
4. Do not just see, hear,feel, taste change but ask yourself, “ Why Am I am so special that I can not accept this change?”
5. Lastly, the very first step in knowing how to handle change is knowing you have change standing right in from of you!

Thanksgiving & Christmas 2013

Thanksgiving is this week. Black Friday is the best deals of the year. What I will be doing this Black Friday is working instead of shopping. Black Friday is one events of the year we wait for the good deals. For me Black Friday is just another day. When I was younger, I would be that crazy person waking up 5am. I will be waking 6am getting to work. I have become a person who is willing to skip the Black Friday events. When my father passed away, Thanksgiving & Christmas was not the same for all of us. It's been hard enough to get my mom to get the tree up last year but she got the tree up. The old tree is gone and a new Christmas tree is up now in our family home.

Last year, we wrote a letter to each family member of how thankful we were for each other. My dad started this tradition many years ago. Presents are for the kiddos and less of us. This year, we are starting a family tradition by giving one gift to each adult family member. Christmas has become a marketing tool for America. Just turn on your TV. You will see every commercial during prime time talking about Christmas or open up your mail box with a bunch of Christmas ads. It's hard enough to see families who are struggling this year. There are others who are trying to save for next year with our health insurance, 401k, retirement, a new beginning in 2014, trying to survive for the next pay check or looking for a job. It's hard to see Christmas for a celebration with finding that perfect gift for your love one. I understand. I have been committed to help others especially during this time. If it's a Dollar Store gift, volunteer event, toy drive then I'm there in my free time. Material is less what I desire for myself and thinking of those who can't afford gifts for their child. What would Jesus do when I think to myself?

Christmas is the celebration of Jesus. When I think of Christmas as kid which I would think of toys. I also think of my dad opening the Bible and reading of birth of Christ to us. My dad taught us Thanksgiving & Christmas is celebration of family but above all Jesus. 

In Memory of Kidd Kraddick & Tom Dooley

There are two DJs in my life that I enjoyed listening to Tom Dooley & Kid Kraddick. These DJs reminded me a little of my father, Dan. When I moved away for the first time from my childhood home, Tom Dooley would encouraged me on the radio with the Word in 2008 each day. I did my best to be independent & not call my dad every morning. 

Sometimes, I would listen to Tom Dooley on ITunes while I worked on my studies. Tom Dooley had passed away on November 9, 2010 with brain cancer. I remembered telling my dad our favorite DJ who passed away. Dad reacted with sadness.Tom Dooley was part of my life & my dad's life each day. 

1^st Annual Tom Dooley's Memorial Gold Tournament on September 14, 2013. I will volunteer for the event in memorial of my dad, Dan.

http://www.mastermedia.org/mm/eventInfo

I would listened to Kidd Kraddick each morning to laugh. There were times I didn't agreed with Kidd but I accepted him as he was on the radio. He made me laugh while I was grieving for my dad last year. There would be times I would turn off the radio because I didn't agree with Kidd on certain topics or I couldn't stand what they were talking about that morning but I always came back to listen to Kidd's show. 

I was driving to work last Monday, I heard Kidd do a segment of the show call Dying Dead Bed Confession. It was hard to listen to this part of the show. I heard Kidd Kraddick making fun of Kellie at the end of segment of the show. It's funny but difficult to listen. It's surreal to hear Kidd passed away after doing that radio segment of the show last Monday. 

http://www.dallasnews.com/entertainment/headlines/20130728-days-before-his-death-kidd-kraddick-spoke-about-deathbed-confessions-i-ve-got-a-few-minutes-to-live.ece 

What do the listeners do now? Go somewhere else to listen another family morning crew in morning? All of us come from different backgrounds but I know one thing we have common is Kidd Kraddick & the morning crew. 

To listen Kidd Kraddick online  http://www.kiddnation.com/

1^st concert will be held on August 15, 2013 with the Jonas Brothers at House of Blues for the terminal ill kiddos. Come and support the kiddos! 

http://www.kiddskids.com/  Kidd Kraddick's foundation

Remember life is short but our days are numbered. We all need to leave our legacy like these great DJs. Do something great with your life. Focus on the helping the hurting. Don't waste your time hating on others or hurting folks with your negative words. Do something positive like Kidd & Tom Dooley as they did with their lives. Remember to look up & focus our hearts on the Father above, Jesus. All of us will be called home one day.

Summer of 2013

I had promised myself this summer would be different for me. I would visit the people that I love.

Memorial day was staying at home trip with my family. We had celebrate Memorial Day with my nieces and Clifford. We had the best time at Joe Pool Lake.

I had started off to go to a Hot Rod show in Arkansas with my guy, Clifford. There were so many cars to love at this car show.

Two weeks after the car show. I had decided to go on a road trip with my mom to South Texas. We were enjoying San Antonio for the first time as mother and daughter. We made some good memories!

Then it was time to visit papa and the farm during the week of Father's Day. I haven't been to my grandfather's farm about 2 years. It was a very restful time with my grandfather and his family. One thing that touched me during that trip is praying for my grandfather on Father's Day. I was in tears and so was my 92 year old grandfather. I was praying and thanking the Lord for my papa. The Lord revealed to me that my grandfather was a father to the fatherless.

A few weeks later, I was off to another road to a trip to Abilene to visit my friend. I haven't been to Abilene but it was the best trip to a small town with a lot of relaxing moments.

One month to go before summer is over. I still have at least one or two trips left to travel. I will included them later in this blog.

Also, this summer, I am making major changes in my life with money and focus on my retirement. I have been watching the people around make changes in their lives. It is motivating me to step in that area. I am not getting young any time soon. Going shopping is not fun as it used to be for me. I am starting to see that saving and building my retirement right now is important. More to come in my blog about this subject.

The fall season will bring a new season for me. See you online after August, 2013.

Iamisleen

Haunted by the word cancer

Angelina Jolie's story came out on May 14, 2013 of her having double mastectomy. I can relate to Angelina Jolie. She is 37 years old and I am 32 years old. Angelina lost her mom at the age of 56. I had lost my dad at the age of 57 to colon cancer. She had lost her mom a few years ago. I had lost my dad to cancer 2 years ago. I was thinking what if cancer happens to me. I'm not claiming cancer at all. It's hard to think when you have a love one who had passed away from cancer. All the doctor visits you went with your love one. You had to watch all the chemo your love one went through. It is pain in our hearts.

You would say to yourself, “NO!” I don't want cancer to happen to me. I don't want to live in fear but it is hard to thinking about it. I had some issues in my body recently. I will not go in detail of my issue. This is a private matter for me. This issue wouldn't stop for about a month. I was worried about this issue in my body. Here I am reading Web MD and many online articles of what the cause of this issue in my body each night. One article stated to consult with your doctor since this issue can cause cancer. I was freaking out after reading the article online. I didn't want to tell my mom or my sister. We went through enough crap with my dad. So, I had decided to speak to my boyfriend about this issue in my body. My boyfriend said, “Go to the doctor's office tomorrow.” I did. My doctor had taken a few tests to see what the cause of this issue in my body is. She had looked at me and said, “I don't see anything wrong.” One thing she said to me, “You are healthy young person.” Her words brought life to me. The doctor told me if this issue does not stop please go to another doctor’s office. My doctor handed me business card. After I left her office, I was asking the Lord to heal. I was crying inside and outside. I didn't want to do extra blood work. I was scared for the outcome if I did extra blood work.
A week later, everything was normal in body. I said Amen to myself!!!


Fear of not living. We can say I'm ready to go to Heaven. This is what my dad said when he was normal. When he had cancer he didn't want to die. He didn't want to leave his family that he loved soooo much. My dad knew in his heart that he couldn't change the course of his life. I'm oldest daughter to be involved with cancer awareness. This week, I have decided to become involve in Be The Match at http://m.marrow.org/. I am going to give myself to be a match for patients with leukemia or other forms of cancer. I'm taking the step to help others.

Also, Angelina Jolie's story makes me wonder if I need to do blood work to see if I will get cancer. I'm considering it. Maybe, in my next doctor visit this coming August. I have to fight the rest of my life of this ugly word call cancer mentality.

Iamisleen


Angelina Jolie's Story

We often speak of “Mommy’s mommy,” and I find myself trying to explain the illness that took her away from us. They have asked if the same could happen to me. I have always told them not to worry, but the truth is I carry a “faulty” gene, BRCA1, which sharply increases my risk of developing breast cancer and ovarian cancer.

My doctors estimated that I had an 87 percent risk of breast cancer and a 50 percent risk of ovarian cancer, although the risk is different in the case of each woman.

Only a fraction of breast cancers result from an inherited gene mutation. Those with a defect in BRCA1 have a 65 percent risk of getting it, on average.

Once I knew that this was my reality, I decided to be proactive and to minimize the risk as much I could. I made a decision to have a preventive double mastectomy. I started with the breasts, as my risk of breast cancer is higher than my risk of ovarian cancer, and the surgery is more complex.

On April 27, I finished the three months of medical procedures that the mastectomies involved. During that time I have been able to keep this private and to carry on with my work.

But I am writing about it now because I hope that other women can benefit from my experience. Cancer is still a word that strikes fear into people’s hearts, producing a deep sense of powerlessness. But today it is possible to find out through a blood test whether you are highly susceptible to breast and ovarian cancer, and then take action.

My own process began on Feb. 2 with a procedure known as a “nipple delay,” which rules out disease in the breast ducts behind the nipple and draws extra blood flow to the area. This causes some pain and a lot of bruising, but it increases the chance of saving the nipple.

Two weeks later I had the major surgery, where the breast tissue is removed and temporary fillers are put in place. The operation can take eight hours. You wake up with drain tubes and expanders in your breasts. It does feel like a scene out of a science-fiction film. But days after surgery you can be back to a normal life.

Nine weeks later, the final surgery is completed with the reconstruction of the breasts with an implant. There have been many advances in this procedure in the last few years, and the results can be beautiful.

I wanted to write this to tell other women that the decision to have a mastectomy was not easy. But it is one I am very happy that I made. My chances of developing breast cancer have dropped from 87 percent to under 5 percent. I can tell my children that they don’t need to fear they will lose me to breast cancer.

It is reassuring that they see nothing that makes them uncomfortable. They can see my small scars and that’s it. Everything else is just Mommy, the same as she always was. And they know that I love them and will do anything to be with them as long as I can. On a personal note, I do not feel any less of a woman. I feel empowered that I made a strong choice that in no way diminishes my femininity.

I am fortunate to have a partner, Brad Pitt, who is so loving and supportive. So to anyone who has a wife or girlfriend going through this, know that you are a very important part of the transition. Brad was at the Pink Lotus Breast Center, where I was treated, for every minute of the surgeries. We managed to find moments to laugh together. We knew this was the right thing to do for our family and that it would bring us closer. And it has.

For any woman reading this, I hope it helps you to know you have options. I want to encourage every woman, especially if you have a family history of breast or ovarian cancer, to seek out the information and medical experts who can help you through this aspect of your life, and to make your own informed choices.

I acknowledge that there are many wonderful holistic doctors working on alternatives to surgery. My own regimen will be posted in due course on the Web site of the Pink Lotus Breast Center. I hope that this will be helpful to other women.

Breast cancer alone kills some 458,000 people each year, according to the World Health Organization, mainly in low- and middle-income countries. It has got to be a priority to ensure that more women can access gene testing and lifesaving preventive treatment, whatever their means and background, wherever they live. The cost of testing for BRCA1 and BRCA2, at more than $3,000 in the United States, remains an obstacle for many women.

I choose not to keep my story private because there are many women who do not know that they might be living under the shadow of cancer. It is my hope that they, too, will be able to get gene tested, and that if they have a high risk they, too, will know that they have strong options.

Life comes with many challenges. The ones that should not scare us are the ones we can take on and take control of.

My Heart is in his Hands

Late Friday night my niece had cried to me that she couldn't fall asleep. My niece was nervous that if she didn't fall asleep then she would not focus on her studies Saturday morning at her tutoring center. I asked my niece if she wanted milk or water which she had shaken her head "no". The only solution which I could help my 9 year old niece is to pray for her. I had put my hands on her head and asked The Lord to give her peace while she slept. 2 minutes later my niece was sound asleep. I had thanked The Lord for this little miracle for my niece. Being a part time parent to my niece is important to me. It is important to teach her having a relationship with The Lord. Reading his word or sing a worship song on Pandora. Or getting a reminder on her iPhone to read her Bible in her quiet time. Or running to church when I can to hear the word from the preacher.

All my life my dad taught me to find The Lord. Having a relationship with The Lord didn't come official until I was 16 years old which was 17 years ago today. I remembered one spring morning at the church retreat The Lord had spoken into my heart ask him into my life. Life wasn't the same for me after that day.

Life has ups & downs. The Lord has been my only hope in my life. When I was hurting which I would call my earthly dad to pray for me like my niece. I don't have my earthly dad to pray for me in my life now. My earthly dad is in heaven. Now, I have The Lord to guide my steps especially if I'm part time parent to my niece.


"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. "(Proverbs 3:5 KJV)

" Why I Serve the Lord" By: Dan Rodriguez

This past weekend two families are mourning for their love ones who had passed away. My heart is with sadness of the love ones who had passed away. I did not know these two individuals very well but my heart breaks for all family members.

I am mourning the loss of my dad who passed away a year ago on September 14,2011. I have struggled all year missing my dad. Some of you guys miss my dad too. My dad encouraged you during difficult times in your past. Today, as I was going through my dad's written notes. I found this interesting note that will make you cry.

"Why I Serve the Lord” By: Dan Rodriguez 1999

I want God's word to continue to flow through me like a river of living water where there is no beginning and no end providing pure clean blessings from his word to all areas to all places to all people within reach.

I want my kids and all my family to do the same. I can not expect them to serve God if I'm not willing. Surely only good can come when we serve the living God who gives us all authority and power through Jesus Christ. To overcome the adversities of this world because of the Blood of the perfect lamb who died on that cross on Cavalry. Thank you Jesus for that amazing task that none of us could do.

I want to meet the people that we read everyday like Moses, Paul, Elijah, Daniel, David, and Joseph whom God used greatly in the assigned tasks in their life while they lived like you and I waiting for their savior to appear in the clouds with a loud trumpet. ( My dad said this quote to me few times.)

I want to make a difference even if it seems so small. I know that my redeemer lives within my heart and anything I do will be in the same body of Christ of whom we will not know until we all gather together with the Lord. We will find out all the pieces really did come together without loose ends.

I want to see Jesus and the Father whom we know is love, joy and everlasting. I want to tell the Lord that I love him and wish I could do so much more for him and his gospel.

I want to see my parents who I know made it with the Lord because they accepted Jesus in their lives before graduating home. I want to have so much more of him everyday. I know I can always use more of Jesus and less of me.

I want the Lord's word to spring out of me refreshing and enlightening those individuals who I know need a fresh shower of his word so life can begin to flow forth where there has only been emptiness and loneliness so shouts of JOY can come from these folks touched by his mercy and truth!

I want to take every individuals around me with me to God's home because I know many are lost, hurting, without hope. I want them to see the Lord while yet there is time, energy, and life left.

I want to walk on the streets of Gold. I've only seen very small amount of gold only on rings and chains and gold bars in pictures.

I want to see the chariot of fire Elijah rode in to Heaven. I want to talk to the man who moved God so much to do the mighty miracles while he lived on the earth.

I want to see all the Angels of the Lord for I know they are numerous as the Sea and more variety compared to the people on Earth. Having been made by our heavenly father.

I want to rest in the Lord knowing he has got me covered without having to look around for the opposition on every corner every crack everyday everywhere.

I want to spread this peace within my heart to others in turmoil and constant pain to release the much hurting the much afflicted from their bondage through our Lord and Savior Jesus.

If I don't do anything else, I want to be at least light to others to see that serving isn't about things, places, time, but a real significants relationships with the one and only Lord of who's name every tongue will confess and every knee will bow. A name above names that has earned our most deepest honor and gratitude that name would be Jesus Christ of Nazareth from Galilee who still today is saying to all man kind as he did to two brothers Simon and Peter while were fishing besides the sea of Galilee Follow me.

Be Ready

Review in 2011 & Goals for 2012

Looking back 2011 was not easy year for me. I had to reflect many of my photos to be picked for 2011. At the beginning of the year, I was laid off in January, 2011. I did my best to keep my mind positive for many months and trusted in the Lord for the direction in my life. I found myself working through school with my master degree, selling Avon as hobby, volunteered for community college on a project, hung out with my dad & family often, adventured with my family to many family events including Padre Island, in South Texas- April 2011, celebrated my 91^st Grandfather’s birthday, getting a makeover with Bobbi Brown with my close cousin, going on motorcycle journey with my boyfriend in South Texas for a week, meeting my cousin 1st time in San Antonio, TX  and hung out with Clifford’s close friends in Blanco, TX, I received a call to go to China-April 2011, watched Dallas Mavs, Texas Rangers, Dallas Cowboys had an amazing year in sports, worked with my Hilton family again, watched the crazy weather in May and June come through Texas, celebrated my dad’s last birthday when he turned 57 years old in June, I had amazing time with my family on Fourth of July, taught English in Beijing, China, explored places that I thought I wouldn’t ever gone in my lifetime in China, I met new friends in China and also in the states with my University, watched my dad being diagnosed with cancer 2^nd time in August, had emotion pains with my dad go through hospice care and had a funeral for my dad in Sept., I had celebrated my 31^st birthday and my niece’s 8^th birthday two weeks after my dad passed away- which we made the best of it with friends & family, my family went away to Kemah, Houston for vacation at the end of Sept., I went through a new season with my family and my mom at home, walked at Susan G Komen race in Oct. with good friends, ran for colon cancer with my family in Oct. 2011, my family had a wonderful Thanksgiving with my family from South Texas and 91 year old grandfather, celebrated 5 years with the love of my life Clifford, continued to finished my studies on campus for my master, I had 1 great mentor pray for my family and me, I graduated with my master in Dec. 2011, I went to Virginia and New York city to see friends & family, and spend Christmas & New Years with my family.

Life is not perfect and it has its ups and downs. At times you can't control your life because “LIFE HAPPENS”. You are not in control and I really believe the Father in Heaven is in control of your life with the choices you make in life. I did my best to stay positive and be strong for my family this year because I did not want to fall into deep depression with the crazy season that I was had in 2011.

What is ahead in 2012…. many are saying the world will end Dec. 2012. I don’t know what is ahead after Dec. 2012 but I will say that I will make the best of this year after going through 2011. 2012, it will be a year when my writings will be published online or maybe in a book, I will do my best to get my dad’s book published for my family, I will finally find that dream job in teaching, in marketing field or the hospitality industry, I hoped to start my life with the love of my life and plan a wedding this year, & I hoped to vacation in Florida this summer with my mom and my family. I don’t know what else to write as my goals but we will see what to expect in my life. I will need some of the prayer warriors to pray for my family and I. Please pray for my family to be stronger in our faith and not fall. It has been difficult season because our father was leader when it came to things of the Lord. I am doing the best to be a leader as woman of the Lord because it has not been easy. I am trusting in the Lord for the next steps in my family’s life.

Until next week blog, I will see you online.

Isleen